Luke Skywalker is a Redneck

I mean really. Look at the last movie. He's a freaking Jedi Master, and he is still tooling around in a beat up X-wing that HE CRASHED INTO A FRIGGING SWAMP!

Were I in the Rebel Alliance, I know I'd feel secure knowing that "General" Skywalker is out joyriding in hyperspace. With my very expensive warship.

On Saturday nights, I bet he pulls into Coruscant at about 1.5 lightspeed, turbolasers blazing, with a rebel yell on his lips.

My ass.

Let's review

  • He has a big room full of spare parts back on Tatooine, yet nothing seems to work properly
  • Lives on a farm
  • Spends all his time and money on fast vehicles
  • said vehicles always need "new power converters"
  • Wants to spend time out with his friends, "Biggs" and "Wedge"
  • First kiss ever is with his sister, who then marries his best friend
  • Sister says she always knew he was her brother
  • Father is always away, and when he comes back with some helpful career advice, they fight

He might as well have a gun rack installed on the landspeeder. Oh, Wait. He did. He totally did.

I could go on for hours. But these people already have, so go check them out


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