Death by the 2 dozen

Cigarettes Just plain Suck.

For example, I just found myself running around frantically, trying to get cigarettes for someone who would be much, much better off without them.

I haven’t bought a cigarette in nearly 7 years. I haven’t smoked one in almost 5.

I quit 10 years ago, and not a day goes by when I don’t think to myself, “boy, I’d like a cigarette.” This sentiment is usually closely followed by,”And a #^$#^%$# beer.”

But I’m running, feeling the joints scream at me, praying that my ankle doesn’t buckle, or my knees don’t give out, because I need a carton of cigarettes for someone who works for me out of state, or we make no money this week.

And they needed them this morning.

And they have no money, because the problem is only now coming to my attention, and the money Previously sent has been sent on cigarettes.

And I find out at 3:00 PM

And the deadline for overnight shipping is 4:00PM

Paying the cost to be the boss shouldn’t include waiting breathlessly while a java monkey tries to figure out which end of the box is up, and is asking me a bunch of questions the monkey already knows the answer to. Because without a hit of caffiene, (or some nasty inhaled steroids) I’m going to have an asthma attack, and collapse on the floor next to the counter.

Shouldn’t include the compulsion to explain that the carton of cigs isn’t for me. Shouldn’t include feeling like an idiot because I am paying almost the cost of the carton (a huge amount, on which I could drink all night, even in America) to ship the freaking death sticks in the shortest possible interval.

But I do. Hello, captain responsible.

Cigarettes suck.