Game 32, redux

Roll Call: Scott Magner, the empty chair, A bunch of non-canadian ballplayers
Final Score: Expos 0, Mariners 0 + ?

I had to wait to find out, you should too.

I write this not to be contrary, not to be smartassed. But because that’s the way it happened.

I Know, I was there.

At game time, it has been 21 innings since the Mariners scored a run.

21 innings

To be sure, 7 of those were pitched by Roger Clemens. that’s to be expected. that’s what he does.

But the other 14 were a collection of schlubs. Nobodies.

Which is how the mariners looked over those four days. I even returned to the yesteryear of Video game baseball , just to see the mariners score some runs

There’s a satisfaction to be had scoring 15-20 runs (or more) agains your digital opponents.

I’ve documented previously the quest for the meaningful run.

At game time, our situation has not improved

I’m in the seat. No one is next to me. This is a common occurance of late, enough so that I’m giving the chair its own page. Previously, tonight’s second ticket was spoken for by no less than 3 people. But it’s the troposphere that gets the nod.

Go, oxidizing atmosphere.

And so it begins. Brief panic sets in with Franklin on the mound, but after the lead-off base on balls, he settles down.3 batters, and three corresponding outs later, it’s go time for the Mariners.

MLB.com will now be supplying the play by play regarding tonight’s contest. I will be supplying color commentary.

  • Ichiro Suzuki walks.
  • Randy Winn flies out to right fielder Termel Sledge.
  • With Bret Boone batting, Ichiro Suzuki steals 2nd base.
  • Bret Boone strikes out swinging.
  • John Olerud singles on a line drive to left fielder Brad Wilkerson. Ichiro Suzuki out at home, left fielder Brad Wilkerson to catcher Brian Schneider.
  • END OF THE 1ST

Bleh.

Franklin gives up two hits in the 2nd, but no runs.

You know what comes next, don’t you?

  • Edgar Martinez flies out to center fielder Endy Chavez.
  • Scott Spiezio walks.
  • Rich Aurilia strikes out swinging and Scott Spiezio caught stealing 2nd, catcher Brian Schneider to second baseman Jamey Carroll.
  • END OF THE 2ND

For those scoring at home, that’s two innings, two baserunners, and no runs

0

Top 3 is marked by the second walk of the night for Brad Wilkerson, and not much else.

Remember that name, you probably won’t see ever him again after Sunday.

Or if you do, he probably won’t be a pretend Canadian anymore.

Mariners players find mysterious wooden objects in the dugout, and are informed they must hunt the wild RBI with them. After a breif bit of confusion (no one seems to know what those are), the following is reported to have taken place.

  • Jolbert Cabrera singles on a ground ball to shortstop Orlando Cabrera.
  • Dan Wilson out on a sacrifice bunt, pitcher Livan Hernandez to first baseman Nick Johnson. Jolbert Cabrera to 2nd.
  • Ichiro Suzuki grounds into double play, first baseman Nick Johnson to pitcher Livan Hernandez to third baseman Tony Batista to catcher Brian Schneider to third baseman Tony Batista to pitcher Livan Hernandez to shortstop Orlando Cabrera. Jolbert Cabrera out at home.
  • END OF THE 3RD

Yeahhhhhhhh. that’s why I paid money. To watch people play catch, and then to see Jolbert Cabrera get tired, lay down, and have his kid brother tag him on the chest.

Priceless.

3 innings, three runners. 0 outs. Dave Myers will send anybody. He gave me the steal sign on Wednesday, but the ushers wouldn’t let me on the field.

Another Montreal hit in top 4, but nothing comes of it. Again. there is a trend brewing on both sides of the diamond, one I’m not at all comfortable with.

  • Randy Winn singles on a ground ball to right fielder Termel Sledge.
  • Bret Boone pops out to second baseman Jamey Carroll.
  • John Olerud doubles (11) on a line drive to right fielder Termel Sledge. Randy Winn to 3rd.
  • Bottom 4th B:3 S:1 O:3
    Edgar Martinez flies into double play, center fielder Endy Chavez to catcher Brian Schneider. Randy Winn out at home.
  • END OF THE 4TH
Five, five baserunners.

Ah, Ah, Ah.
Three, three Mariners out at home.

Ah, Ah, Ah.

This gets old fast.

But wait, there’s more

Top 5. For the first time tonight, Brad Wilkerson does not reach base. Neither does anybody else in this blessedly short frame.

Except, of course, for the Mariners.

  • Scott Spiezio walks.
  • Rich Aurilia flies out to center fielder Endy Chavez.
  • Jolbert Cabrera called out on strikes.
  • Dan Wilson grounds into a force out, third baseman Tony Batista to second baseman Jamey Carroll. Scott Spiezio out at 2nd.
  • END OF THE 5TH

Ehhh. Ehh. Eh.

Crap.

5 __________, 6___________, 0 _______.

Fill in the blanks.

Ah, Ah, Ah.

In the backgound, Ryan Franklin is thowing one hell of a game. Look, you can see him over there. He’s the one earning his pay.

But that’s a rant for another time. Too much important stuff going on. Must take a mojo walk.

Sadly, nothing interests me. Like the Mariners bats, life has become pointless and unfullfilling.

Or, has it?

  • Ichiro Suzuki pops out to shortstop Orlando Cabrera in foul territory.
  • Randy Winn grounds out, shortstop Orlando Cabrera to first baseman Nick Johnson.
  • Bret Boone called out on strikes.
  • END OF THE 6TH

Yes, yes it has. Bret Boone fails to hit.

Again.

At least I don’t have to count stranded baserunners this time. No one is out at home.

I’d like to take this time to remind America (and Canada) that the only player in the Seattle lineup hitting over .300 was born in Japan.

In case you were wondering.

What would normally be Stretch time is replaced by a forced rememberance of Former (in both senses of the word) President Ronald Reagan.

The punk kids in front of me “high-five” each other after the PA announcer thanks them for their forced participation in this excercise.

I do not strangle, beat, maim, or otherwise harm them. But I think I popped a blood vessel. None of them were alive in the 80’s. None of them witnessed the events shown on the big screen.

None of them care.

I do, and did. See you later, RR.

  • John Olerud flies out to left fielder Brad Wilkerson.
  • Edgar Martinez flies out to center fielder Endy Chavez.
  • Scott Spiezio singles on a line drive to center fielder Endy Chavez.
  • Rich Aurilia singles on a ground ball to right fielder Termel Sledge. Scott Spiezio to 2nd.

Time for a quick survey.

Which of the following two pictures will accurately represent my mood after this scoring opportunity?

Welcome back. You didn’t miss anything, trust me.

Those few souls left with in 111 (including the apparent guardian of the aforementioned punk kids) begin to resign themselves to bonus baseball.

And for those who have lost count,

It’s been 28 innings since the Mariners scored a run.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.

Buckle up, campers.

  • Dan Wilson singles on a ground ball to left fielder Brad Wilkerson.
  • Offensive Substitution: Pinch runner Willie Bloomquist replaces Dan Wilson.
  • With Ichiro Suzuki batting, Livan Hernandez picks off Willie Bloomquist at 1st on throw to Nick Johnson.
  • Ichiro Suzuki singles on a ground ball to left fielder Brad Wilkerson.
  • Randy Winn grounds into a force out, second baseman Jamey Carroll to shortstop Orlando Cabrera. Ichiro Suzuki out at 2nd. Randy Winn to 1st.
  • Bret Boone grounds into a force out, shortstop Orlando Cabrera to second baseman Jamey Carroll. Randy Winn out at 2nd.
  • END OF THE 8TH

There are no words.

Franklin is mysteriously lifted for our closer. No one gets to say goodbye, no music plays.

Seattle fans don’t seem to care. I wonder who many of them know that this could have been just the second complete game of Ryan Franklin’s career.

And the second shutout.

I know, I was at the first one.

Oddly enough, exactly the same thing happened to him 364 days ago. Against the same team.

I was at that one, too.

No love for the Franklin. My video game doesn’t even have him on the roster for his debut year.

But then again, it doesn’t have Ichiro either.

Once more, into the breach. When, When will the pain end?

  • John Olerud singles on a ground ball to center fielder Endy Chavez.
  • Offensive Substitution: Pinch runner Hiram Bocachica replaces John Olerud.
  • Edgar Martinez called out on strikes.(Again)
  • Scott Spiezio flies out to center fielder Endy Chavez.
  • With Rich Aurilia batting, Hiram Bocachica steals 2nd base.
  • Livan Hernandez intentionally walks Rich Aurilia.
  • Offensive Substitution: Pinch hitter Dave Hansen replaces Jolbert Cabrera.
  • Dave Hansen walks. Hiram Bocachica to 3rd. Rich Aurilia to 2nd.

Bottom 9th B:1 S:1 O:2
Pat Borders singles on a ground ball to left fielder Brad Wilkerson. Hiram Bocachica scores. Rich Aurilia to 3rd. Dave Hansen to 2nd.

Good Night everybody. Bhagwan has left the building