Media Trip Report – STAR TREK: Enterprise (Season 2)

(originally posted on facebook October 4, 2023)

Apologies if you were expecting this report earlier. I actually finished my initial rewatch some weeks ago, and the commentary retrospectives last week. But much like the Temporal Cold War ™, the looming spectre of unemployment colored everything I did in that time period, while at the same time effecting no real change in the experience.

Season 2 of ENTERPRISE just sort of…happened. It plods along in workmanlike fashion through 26 episodes, then ends on a non-rousing cliffhanger wherein those plucky humans go and do an incredibly stupid thing, despite being given ample evidence of just how stupid it really is by our space pals the Vulcans.

So let’s break the season down in order, more or less. If I skip an episode, it’s intentional.

The best episodes of the season hit right at the beginning, and to be honest, my enjoyment of them is enhanced by the complete lack of whelm provided by “Shockwave, Part 2,” which wraps up S1’s equally disappointing finale.

By comparison, “Carbon Creek” and “Minefield” are the over the top awesome, then “Dead Stop” raises the bar so high that the rest of season 2 might as well not have aired.

But then “The Seventh” comes out of nowhere to reveal even more T’Pol backstory, and yet another questionable choice by Good Guy Vulcans ™. In fact, the things T’Pol was forced to do both before and after her mission some 30 years ago make Ambassador Suval’s insistence on her returning to Earth every time someone sneezes all the more telling.

Sadly, this strong start is cut off at the knees by a quintet of just awful television, with “The Communicator” (First contact hijinks and the ridiculousness of the Universal Translator called to the fore), “Singularity” (Space is dangerous and makes us do wacky things, lol), “Vanishing Point” (Hoshi has a transporter accident, and everyone dismisses a woman describing a life-threatening medical condition), “Precious Cargo” (Trip Tucker goes to booty town, again. Hopefully no pregnancy results this time), “The Catwalk” (Space is dangerous and makes us do wacky things…wait, didn’t we JUST FUCKING DO THIS plot?).

We get temporary respite from badverybadworse Trek with “Dawn” (A two-hander with Trip and an alien Gregg Henry), “Stigma” (Seriously, Vulcans suck.), and “Cease Fire” (Vulcans suck even more, but not as much as Andorians).

Stigma in particular makes a strong play for best episode of the season, and ranks consistently among the best of the series as a whole. After being mind-raped last season, T’Pol has contracted a rare brain disease called “Pa’nar Syndrome,” which Vulcan doctors refuse to treat because the only people who can contract it are those wacky deviants who Mind Meld.

T’Pol can/could cut through the prejudice around the disease and get the treatment she needs by admitting she was assaulted and forced to meld, but refuses to do so because she believes getting special treatment would ignore the Vulcan bias towards the genetic minority who can meld, whether or not they do so.

And if you think that sentence was long and awkward, so are the Vulcan arguments as to why mind melds are bad in the first place.

To sum up, Vulcans suck, even though we are shown time and again that most of them are fine, upstanding, logical people. Except for the males in charge of things, of course.

In “Cease Fire,” Jeffery FUCKING COOMBS returns as Commander Shran, this time leading a Mission to reclaim a planet taken from his people by the Vulcans, specifically a military mission 50 years ago in which Ambassador Suval (Gary Graham) participated. It’s up to John Wayne Archer to help broker a peace treaty, which fails about as badly as you might think. The episode was well-paced and tightly plotted, but suffers in appreciation by the Pure Trek ™ of “Stigma.”

Then the season limps along to the aforementioned unsatisfying conclusion. Even strong direction from Robert Duncan Macneill, Levar Burton, and Roxann Dawson, can’t save the season, and the less said about “Regeneration” (Oh those wacky Borg), the better.

If this series was being made today, Season 2 would probably have been 10 episodes long. Instead, knowing they were on the brink of cancellation, the studio plowed ahead with 26 as if they wanted that outcome.

Meh.

Important takeaways:

T’Pol is far and away the best-served character in this season, followed distantly by Archer. In “First Flight,” the two bond over SCIENCE, while Archer regales her with a story of his test-pilot days. You know, 4 or 5 years ago, when T’Pol was on Earth?

Trip Tucker needs to be kept on a leash.

Malcolm Reed needs training wheels for most simple tasks.

And never, ever, spend a night in sick bay with Doctor Phlox.

But seriously, Vulcans suck in the 22nd century.