It’s been a rough couple of weeks here at the House of Bhagwan, but I’m keeping on as best I can. Added to the general state of melancholy was the loss of a dear friend, which shut me down creatively for a time. A feeling made much worse when viewed through the lens of what he was able to accomplish with far greater challenges.
It’s easy to do nothing, when you feel you can’t do anything right. It’s a hole I’ve climbed into many times over the years, often with a bottle or four to keep me company. I like to think I’ve moved past that sort of thing, and the fact that there’s still a whole bunch of booze up in the cabinet says I’ve been at least partly successful. But I still need to write, whether or not I want to.
I have several projects I’ve wanted to get started for the last few months. Production work on Homefront and Seasons of Truth have taken up most of my available bandwith during that time, but yesterday morning I had another one of my Big Story Dreams,™ a sure sign that I needed to roll up my sleeves and get back to the grind.
So I beat the hell out of two chapters that had stymied me for the last week. Simply put, they were not good, and needed to convey a lot of Important Information.™ They were so not good that I considered scrapping them entirely and starting again from scratch, but the image in my head of how I wanted them to be just wouldn’t go away.
So 6000 words later, I now had three chapters that did mostly the same thing and which could still reasonably be the one very long chapter the once were. I proclaimed them good enough and sent them off to my editor, and am now prepared for my next creative burst.
Maybe. Maybe I’ll do something else. But something to do is what I need, whether or not it’s what I want.
And that’s the state of the Bhagwan. Carrying on, and skipping over the ocean as best I can.