Woe betide the

Losers

May 21st

Roll Call: Scott Magner, Sonja Baron, Clan Guard
Final Score: Tigers 5, Mariners 0

Big.

Fat.

Zero.

The highlight of this game was seeing the daughter of our friends Jay and Sheila Guard participate in the “Double-Steal” contest.

Because at least she crossed home plate. Not a single Mariner did, despite numerous, numerous chances.

Gil Meche came out dealing, and over the course of 117 pitches, stuck out a season (and career) high 10 batters. He also gave up 5 hits, including two mammoth home runs.

That’s the good news.

The bad news is that the Mariners strand 13 of their own. Painfully, over the course of three hours. Half the starting lineup was replaced with bench players. Some of these moves may be permanent.

Sonja (perhaps wisely) leaves after the 6th inning. All of the major damage had been done, but she is spared the pitiful spectacle of me and my rally cap. Someday, it’ll work within the confines of 9 innings. But lately, the cap is just a facade.

And it’s getting worse. Edgar again whiffs with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth. If he’s to again be a clutch hitter, someone should make sure that the clutch is functional on the Edgar-mobile.

After all his body work, I think the engine is about shot. The only players hitting with regularity are Dan Wilson and Ichiro Suzuzi.

Ichiro Suzuki (now known as “the Lone Gunman”) goes 3 for 5, and collects his 2000th hit as a professional ballplayer. This is somehow a big deal, even though 1,278 of them came in his 9 year career with the Orix Blue Wave.

You won’t find that team in either the National or American Leagues. Instead, you’ll find it in Japan’s Pacific League.

I have nothing against Japanese baseball. In fact, I revere it, since Japan has a longer and richer tradition of professional sports (baseball in particular) than does the United States.

But if U.S. sportswriters feel compelled to complain yearly about the eligibility of Japanese ballplayers as “rookies”, then they should not publicize, promote, or otherwise empower baseball records not set through play in the two “recognized” major leagues.

If Ichiro is said to have 2001 hits in his career, I’d like to have some other achievements of his amended.

Like the 2001 season, wherein everyone marvelled about how well he did as a “rookie.” He wasn’t. He was a professional baseball player, in the prime of his career. It was certainly one of the finest offensive performances in American baseball history. But he was 28 years old, in his 10th year of professional baseball.

Alex Rodriguez put up similar numbers in his 1st full year in the majors, at age 21. Seattle readers may remember him. He’s the player formerly known as Seattle’s shortstop.

In fact, his “rookie” numbers look a little better since he hit 36 home runs that year.

Kaz Sasaki, Ichiro, Godzilla, and Kaz Matsui aren’t rookies. They are free agents. They should be treated as such.

And what makes me more upset, is that the school of thought naming them rookies says also that their very successful careers in Japan are meaningless. Like Ichiro’s first 1,278 hits.

And very much like Josh Gibson’s home runs. Even conservative estimates count him far beyond Ruth, and Aaron for total homers belted. Perhaps even beyon Sadaharu Oh, whose final “recognized” total sits at 868.

But Gibson’s 17 years of professional baseball are meaningless, since a) he wasn’t a”professional”(i.e. employed by the National or American Leagues of Baseball); and b) he was black. Similarly, Oh’s 22 years with the Yomiuri Giants are disregarded by some (read most) American baseball scholars.

Forget about Joe Public. Or Joe Six-pack for that matter. Neither one of them has a clue, much like the drunk Tigers fan mouthing off to Ichiro from my section during the late innings.

As the link shows, Josh Gibson is in the Hall of Fame. A special comittee was enacted to recognize the accomplishments of the Negro Leagues in the 70’s.

Oh is not. Since he is still alive, and Japanese, it’s not likely he will be for some time.

Most Americans consider Japanese baseball to be the equivalent of the Minor Leagues here in the States.

If that’s true, I’d like to add some numbers to Edgar’s lifetime totals. Because as badly as he is hitting this year, he’s not going to make the Hall of Fame either.

Mariners Lose, by the way.

Again.

Record: Scott 7-11, Sonja 2-4; M’s 14-27.