Equal parts Naughty and Nice

Stolen without reservation from my favoritest ever perkygoth (of the cupcake variety)

Write yourself a dating ad (in which you assume that you are single or otherwise available).

1) It has to make you sound as unappealing as possible
2) It has to be honest – you can’t lie at all
3) It can’t sound as though you’re deliberately making yourself sound unappealing.

Much easier than it would seem.

Go Figure.

Functioning sociopath with proximity issues seeks independent woman with neither fear or need of his company. Must appreciate wry and rambling humor, clutter, and the occasional inexplicable “quirk.” Like of musical theater, explosions, terpsichory and philosophical differences a plus. Slightly creepy looking, in a mysterious sort of way. Slip picture under door, and back away slowly.