iRant

Assume that at this exact moment I am engaging in thoroughly unproductive ranting on a number of topics, which may or may not include the following.

Corporations
Banking
Accounts
Promises, implied or otherwise.

Further assume that I have receive this exact sentiment from no less than three companies renowned for their customer service today.

“You’re F&$ked”

A good friend of mine reminded me of something this weekend which I have always taken to be a truism.

“If you don’t want me to act like an A$$&0le, stop rewarding me for doing it.

I was nice. I was good, and calm, and rational as I went through three sets of voicemail trees, three operators without clues, and four transfers to other departments.

I reach the person who is to help me. I explain the situation calmly and rationally. I assure her that I was not unhappy with the services I received, nor the manner in which I received them. I am thanked for my understanding and patience.

I am then told

“You’re F&$ked”

iSnap. I shall not be treated in this fashion. I am the Mighty American Consumer, and I have choices as to where my Mighty American $$ will be spent. Moreover, I am a 20 year veteran of the customer service wars, and there is one thing you never, ever say to a customer.

“No”

No rhymes with “Go.” And essentially means the same thing. I let her know in no uncertain terms that I think her explanation of “that’s our standard _____ policy” is complete and utter horseshit. I point out the complete and utter idiocy of said policy (which requires you have three times the market value of the service proferred on hand and available to use said service), especially after a) service has been provided, and b) hypothetical services never were. ANd the very special idiocy that maintains said requirement for up to 3-5 business days after said service.

Essentially, A$$&0le, You’re F&$ked

I’m not F&$ked, lady. You are.

Especially when I know exactly how the problem can be rectified, and by whom. And 5 minutes later, no one is saying “You’re F&$ked.”

Pretty sure I was being called an A$$&0le after we disconnected, though.

Everything is now fine and straightened out. I may now do those things that I want to do, in the manner to which I have become accustomed.

But damnit, next time I’m just going to pay Cash.

end trans.