On and in a day of non-stop “what did you just say/did I really hear that?” moments, these stand out as some of the most Fantastic and clueless/deflecting/NOT IT statements I’ve ever heard.
And what makes them really shine is that start to finish, it’s contained in a single 30 minute period.
1. 5:05 PM “Oh, Yes. We have a check for you. But it’s not signed. That won’t happen until Monday Morning.”
2. 5:06 PM “There’s really nothing I can do about that (Holding said check) I’m just not responsible for that.”
3. 5:07 PM “I can see why you were wanting this, though. If this were mine, I’d be kind of upset.”
4. 5:14 PM (across street with now signed document)
“Can I help you sir?”
(me: I don’t think you can. I need to talk to a manager or someone without a nametag)
“What is it, I’m sure I can help.”
(Me: describes problem)
“You’re right, I can’t really help you with that. you need to talk to (mumbles)
(rings bell, looks off at 30 degree angle, drawing my attention.)
(me: eyes noticing motion, watch her leave and run away.)
5: 5:16 PM (guy without name badge) “Can I help you, sir, or should we sit down for a moment and talk about it?”
6: 5:17 PM (after I assert my right to sit and talk) “Great. Let’s go talk to Mike over here” (motions with hand. “Mike” looks up, nameless bails in could of custserv dust)
7: 5:19 PM. “Yep, you’re right, Money was taken out of your account.”
8. 5:19 PM “I really can’t talk to you about that. Would you like a phone number to call?”
9. 5:20 PM “Here. call this number. But no one is there now, they’ll be in on Monday morning. Probably.”
10. 5:22 PM “No, sir. The Bank of America is not in the habit of charging fees and taking money about of people’s accounts for no reason.”
(me: points to computer screen) “I really can’t help you with that. You’ll have to talk to someone else.”
It was, and is, one of the more intense and involved non-negotiations ever.